My Stand-up comedy club

[-Tr1p-]

Aka Mattimeo
Jan 22, 2006
581
0
0
in a hole somewhere in California
Zenny
100
Points
0
Ok well here is where i shall be posting my orginall jokes because im becoming a stand up comedian and i have to start somewhere ok :regular

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first off before i talk i want to make sure you all know that there is a line beetween funny and so-dumb-you-have to lagh but it doest matter cuz i cant tell the diffrence.

ok now that that is out the way lets talk about a little thing called "selective hearing".What the **** is that?My girlfriend talks about how i have selective hearing and i only hear what i want.What i want to hear is
"baby......do me all night long"
but since i have selctive hearing ill hear that instead of
"get off your ass and do something about the tv you ass hole"
i never said i "didnt" hear its just as simple as this i guess
"I . . . dont . . . want to"
And i know all you guys know what im talkin about right?
Oh and then when you get into a fuss with your gf she's all like
"dont play like you dont know what im talking about....you know what you did"
im clueless wanting to say this
"huh?"
but what comes out is
"sorry baby it wont happen again.
 
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[-Tr1p-]

Aka Mattimeo
Jan 22, 2006
581
0
0
in a hole somewhere in California
Zenny
100
Points
0
hey hey hey hey hey guys you ready for this are you? . . .
Ok i have found the alternitive for pleasing you lady with a big **** you want to know it?
To bad im tellin you anyway its a one word answer

. . . . . . tampon
yes if you can please her this will i promise i picked one up one day out the bathroom floor and i accedentilly dropped it into the water((on the ground from the shower which i still have a bruise from)) and the friggin thing is like this wide
(___________)
and about 8 1/2 inches long

i could take that thing and kill midevil knights with this thing
oh and going to buy her some might gross out your friends but when she lets you tape you guys. . . candy is sweet my friend
 
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[-Tr1p-]

Aka Mattimeo
Jan 22, 2006
581
0
0
in a hole somewhere in California
Zenny
100
Points
0
this one speeks for itsself
scc.jpg

*Created by masters at my house*​
i out to have a fan club

OK sice we got those things out i need to ask this,
do our women even give a ****?

i dont think so because the other day i was accually cleaning my mess and she comes off negative and goes
"why clean it dumbass . . . itll just get ****ed up by you again.
 
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Yevon

New member
Apr 19, 2006
173
0
0
Australia
Zenny
100
Points
0
oh this is soo funney, im just thinking, Stewie off Family Guy saying all of wat u just said.....
*WARNING ATLOT OF SPAM RIGHT...NOW*


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